So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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