If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You left your phone here
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