I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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