Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
