I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
