sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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