if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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