Will you blow on my dice?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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