The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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