just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
