ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
