I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
