So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
