somebody snuck up and got me drunk
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
