Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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