HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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