I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
