Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
