Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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