Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
