He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
