he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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