yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
