Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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