we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
