ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
