I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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