Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
