You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
