I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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