Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
