Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
