If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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