tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
