Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
