Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
