Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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