it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
