the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
