Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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