I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
