why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we have pet lesbian snakes
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
