As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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