And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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