did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My room smells like vodka and shame
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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