Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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