I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
