Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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