so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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