great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
